Changes

So, we are certainly going through changes in our family. We are slowly adapting to being a 1 dog family. It is clear that I am struggling the hardest. Pete has been my rock through this whole process. Ellis, thankfully was not affected by it so much. He and Emma have a special bond that did not exist between he and Allie. Allie was not able to play with him like Emma is. Ellis has been extremely tender. I do my best to hide my tears and saddness. But once in awhile he sees and he tells me it is ok. The last time he and I spoke of Allie being gone. He told me that Allie was old and she is in a place where there are lots of people taking pictures of her. This was so sweet. Kristen made a point, that this would make sense. Because as a family we really like to take pictures of the people we love. It is adoration for each other. The mourning process is so overwhelming. This is nothing like I expected or thought it could be. It can be debilitating at times and sometimes it is just enough to get through the day without crying.

Emma seems to be holding up well. I see glimpses of her looking lost. But overall I think that she is enjoying all the extra attention, walks and car rides.

Tribute to Allie

Make a Smilebox slideshow

We have suffered a huge loss to our family. Allie had over the past year struggled with cancer. She had not been getting any better so we had to make a very hard decision. This is one of the hardest things we have faced so far. We got Allie as our 1 year anniversary gift. That was October 4, 1998. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. We had to let her go on October 3rd, 2008. We had her for 10 years. She was the first addition to our home. Then came Emma and then arrived our beloved son, Ellis. We loved Allie and will miss her tremendously as she gave us love, laughter and warmth in our home.

Golf Tournament

Ellis played in a golf tournament. Thanks to Uncle Koby, Ellis took lessons this summer and finished up last weekend. He did really well. We were joined by Grammie and Grumpie. We are quite proud of him and how he has turned out to be such a pleasant little guy. I wish that we could have caught some of his facial expressions. There was one instance, where Ellis had gotten up to T-off when one of little boys,Logan started to whine. Ellis looked over his shoulder, with his eyebrows raised and a stared at Logan with this look.."like excuse me...I am trying to concentrate". Grammie and I had a good laugh, even though Ellis was taking it quite seriously. They learn at such a young age!!!

Soccer Night

Ellis is enjoying soccer every Tuesday and Thursday. Ellis loves to be out there with other kids. Although, I think that he enjoys the activities he is enrolled in, I can't help but think he would rather just hang out with them and talk. He is such a social guy!! We are also finding that it keeps us very busy and as you can see sometimes very tiring. But we love it! Ellis will be finishing up golf this Saturday with a little tournament. So, that will be one less activity for awhile. I guess it will be time to start working on the house~~

Truth, Lies and Chase

Well, last night we had a very interesting talk with the boy. Yesterday we had his cousin Miles over to play. This is always a great treat for the boys. Anyway, we noticed later on that the floor register was not its spot and the heating system was exposed. We did all the parental things that we know...Begin by asking questions.

Dad: Ellis, who moved it?
Ellis: Hmmmm...I don't know
Dad: Did you put something down the hole (heating system)?
Ellis: Hmmmm...maybe Miles did...I think..I can't remember.
Dad: Did you do it, did you put something down there...it is important to tell the truth.
Ellis: Hmmmm...I am..ugh...maybe a car, oh no...wait maybe this (a card from his view slider)...WELL...maybe Scarloley.
Ellis starts to look nervous.
Dad: Ellis, you are not going to get in trouble, you just have to tell the truth and don't put anything down the hole.
Ellis...ok

Meanwhile I am getting his stuff ready for a bed. Every night Ellis has "snuggle" time with me. We talk about the day and what his favorite part was and say our prayers. He comes bouncing into my bed. And then our conversations begins:

Ellis: Mom...I'm sorry I moved the thing.
Mom: That's ok but you need to tell the truth. Do you know what the truth means.
Ellis: Uhmmm...no
Mom: How about honesty - do you know what that means?
Ellis: Uh..no (What the heck was I thinking - if he doesn't know what truth was how do i expect him to know the word honesty. So I try a different word.
Mom: Son..do you know what a lie is?
Ellis: As he puts his hand to his forehead and rolls his eyes..."MOM..this is a lot of hard work to figure this all out... Those are big words!"

5 minutes later...he interupts me saying something.

Ellis: MOM....you know what I think it might have been Chase (LIE!!!) SO BUSTED!!
Mom: Well, honey Chase is at home resting from his surgery. So it couldn't be him.
Ellis: Well, MOM...Chas is a VERY Curious boy!! (he states with such authority and his eyebows raised)
You see...Chase like to throw things and he likes to jump on things. He can also go down the hole (heater vent)...he is THIN!!

It dawned on me that I have no idea how to explain to a 4 year old about truth and lies. So, off to the library I go...AGAIN!!

July 4th

The Girls...again!

I just have to share this picture of Allie. She is obsessed with the treadmill when I am on it. Often times when I get off to take care of Ellis or get a drink - she hops right on. I have finally solved this problem by putting her bed next to the treadmill when I am on it.

Fathers Day

Mile's B'day

For Miles 5th b'day we went to the Fire Station. This seems to be a hit with the little guys. It turned out to be a great morning. Kristen made a coffee cake, which is one of my favorite things to eat. Although, I think that anything with coffee in it is going to be great. We had quite the day. After the fire station, Pete and I took Miles and Ellis to the Grand Parade. This year it only held the boys attention for about an hour. They were ready to go after seeing all the important items, fire truck, a boat, and more fire trucks. We then finished the day off by going to Cornwall Park. It was hot so the boys ran through the water park. Whew...a successful day of happy boys!!

A "FRY-day"

Wow. What a day and I am so glad that it is over. Ellis and I started our day out by going through the normal routines. One of our routines of course is to let the girls out. This morning had a whole new meaning to this function. After 2 seconds of them being in the back yard, we heard a lot of squawking from birds. I look out the back window to only find that they have come under attack by a family of Blue jays. As I went out to get the girls, they came after me. Nothing wakes you up in the morning, like a bird taking a dive bomb to your head. It turns out that the babies were in our court yard learning to fly. However, we became hostages in our own home. The moment I would walk out of the door they would come flying at us with full speed. I called for back-up and Koby came over to assist. Alas, they went after him also. He end up walking around the block to get the car so I could take Ellis to school. With all the commotion, I guess I forgot to zip and button Ellis jeans. So, apparently they fell down to his knees shortly after I dropped him off. I then went off to the Chiropractor to adjust me because I took a stumble down the stairs at the beginning of this week. I think that he did more damage then help as my pain continues to monumental levels. While I was waiting to see the "back killer", I was feeling a headache coming on the left side of my head near the ear. I pushed on my ear and the weirdest squishing sound was happening. Clearly, this was not normal. It was only 10:30 in the morning and I had not even finished my first cup of coffee. I was ready for the day to end already. Well, I couldn't go into the weekend with this thing going on with my ear. I called my Detention Nurse and thankfully she was still in. I halled Ellis up to Detention while she irrigated my ear and sure enough a huge piece of cotton was lodged in my ear. It is now 1:00 in the morning and I am still waiting for this day to end. Funny how that works!

Mommy has a VAJ-J!

Well, the saga had continued until this last Wednesday evening with Ellis and his fascination with the opposite sex. Upon my arrival, Ellis came storming out of his room to give me what I thought was going to be his standard greeting. It usually goes something like this..."Mommmyyyyyy....your home. I sure missed you today". Sometimes I will even get "how was your day"? But not this night.He had a much better greeting!

He came running out of his room and I was greeted with " Mooommmyyyy...can I see your pee pee"? WOW~ My response was "go talk to your Dad"...Now some of you may think that is a cheap way of getting out of the talk and sure maybe I need therapy over the fact that I have a hard time with saying the word penis. However, I like to think of it as delegation to the appropriate parent with the most experience in this area. And that would be Pete. He grew up in a household of "free to be you and me". Me...well, I didn't even know that boys were different then girls until I was about 13. Maybe it was 12. And BOY did that gross me out. Ok....lets back on track.

Needless, to say in the end I WAS the one that broke out the story books to read with Ellis while Pete was on the computer I am sure laughing at the whole situation. We read our books, discussed what he wanted to call it. He likes the term pee pee which I think is great. The book brought up quite a few things of interest. One, is it talked about how everyone has a bum, well the book said anus. Again, another term that is just weird. In our house we call it bungus. I believe we got that term from one of Pete's old friends. We talked about how we all have a bungus and we sit on our bungus. Immediately, my very observant son states and FOR POOPING OUT OF!! Yes, son it is for pooping out of.

The book refered to little girls as having Vulvas. And of course as any good mother would do...I just read straight out of the book word for word...hoping there would not be to many questions afterwards. When we were done reading Ellis went and said "Dad...mommmy has a Vulva". Well, guess what folks Pete has a hang up with words too. Yes..I feel somewhat normal out of all this. After Ellis had a conversation with his Dad, he came and found me and said "Mommy..you don't have a VULVA...you have a VAJ-J".

Of course at this time, I could no longer hold in my laughs. As you all know Ellis has about 101 facial expressions to go with every statement he makes. There is something to be learned by all of us here. One, Ellis is learning about girls. Two, I am learning how to get over my hangups. Third, who cares if you call it a penis, hotdog, turtle or a pee pee. As long as you have the talk, you are being a good parent. We had the talk and I feel good about it. After the talk he was not shy or devestated in anyway. In fact, he said "Thanks Mom for reading me my new book" and off he went to play with his trains. It was much easier then I thought UNTIL a half hour later. He comes out of his room, takes a look at me, puts his hands on his hips, cocks his head to the side and with he little eyebrows raised he says " Mommy, can I play with my pee pee"?

Another question, with another answer for another day!

Boys Vs. Girls

Well, the time has come. Ellis is interested in the differences between boys and girls. I feel like this is WAY to early to have this discussion with him. One day last week I was coming out of the bathroom and there was Ellis. He stops me and then pulls down his pants and points to his penis. He asks "mommy...why don't you go potty like this"? Well, I have to say I was not expecting this? I said "well, girls don't have "one of those". The funny thing was I could not even bring myself to say the word penis. I must have a hang-up with word. He then proceeds towards me and says "LET ME SEE"...as his hand is reaching out to pull my pants down. HOLY COW...how did this happen so quickly. I have been more concerned with how he holds a pencil!! Since this little conversation, I have consulted with a few people including the Nurse on staff. I ask her if this is something that I can ignore. She says no way...I look for a compromise and ask how about for another month or so? Of course, I find that I am the one that needs a month to prepare, read and figure out how we are going to discuss this little part of life. I am told by the nurse if I ignore it, he will be the one kid on the play ground pulling his pants down and trying to pull maybe even other girls pants down to see the differences. Well, we know from Ellis' history that he is not shy of pulling his pants down. Case in point..remember when he decided to pull his pants down in Fred Meyer and then peed in the planters. So, here I am with my books from the library, nervously looking and reading them and wondering where is my little boy???

Glacier Springs

Grammy treated us to a great weekend at Glacier Springs. We spent the weekend eating, playing trains, reading books, and sledding....only to be followed up with more eating. The house was great amd either filled with the smell of homemade soup or cookies. Ellis and Miles slept in the same bed which I believe is the first time. They did really well, to my surprise. I thought that we would have a little fight on our hand to get them calmed down. But I think that they had so much activity during the day, they were ready to sleep when it was time. Grammy was queen of sledding and put the rest of us to shame with her power. We attempted to build snowmen but as Miles pointed out they really resembled volcanoes. Pete was the only one that could get the snow to be in a ball.

The Girls

HIghlights of 2007

I think for me the highlight for 2007 were getting a new car, Pete getting on a normal schedule so we can actually see each other and of course, watching Ellis grow. He has become quite the character. Here are some of my favorite statements from him:

1. "Mom, lets hold hands so we don't forget each other"
2. "Dad is a troubled man" (this was in response to Pete not allowing him to watch the Simpsons)
3. Mom: "Ellis are you being mischevious?"
Ellis: "No...I am being sneaky"
4. Mom and Ellis riding in the car listening to music
Mom: "Well, that song was a little annoying"
Ellis: "No Mom, that was a LOT annoying"
5. Mom: "Ellis thanks for doing crafts with me today"
Ellis to Dad: " Dad we did craps today"

Santa Picture

Indecent Exposure!

Ellis has turned over a new leaf. We are not to sure why but he has become rather comfortable pulling his pants down in public. The first case was a few weeks ago when Uncle Koby took him on a little trip to Fred Meyers. Apparently Ellis was a few steps behind Koby. Koby turned around to only find Ellis peeing in the flower pots. Of course Koby had a discussion with him about it but I don't think that it settled in.
On Thursday, I took Ellis to the Doctor. He received 2 shots. One on each leg. The nurse gave him yellow band aids. We went to the store afterwards, as Ellis wanted to buy a Christmas ornament for his tree. He did so well at the Doctor, so what the heck - off we went. While we were in line at the store, I turned my back on Ellis to grab something from the shelf. In a matter of seconds I hear some women laughing. So I turn back around and to my dismay I was looking at my son's bare butt!! He had pulled his pants down to his ankles and was bending over. I calmly asked him what he was doing. He had found a yellow tag from a box on the floor. He was convinced that that the yellow tag was his one of his band aids. He was checking each leg to make sure. I showed him it was just another tag and everyone was happy.....Ellis pulled his pants back up, the ladies had a little chuckle..and well, me - what can you say. A band aid apparently is important at the age of 4! Who can blame him???

Getting back to reality!!!

Well, we are back in B'ham. It is cold, wet and dark. Winters are so hard here. Every year we try to brainstorm on activities we could be doing to get us through. However, it still is a struggle. I think that Pete and I were made to be in warm weather. We were so active, up early every morning and most of all our moods were great. The highlight was coming back to our little guy. Although, he had quite the adventure at Gramps and Nanna's he was thrilled to be back home with us and "his Allie and Emma". He asked if we could put up the christmas tree. So we did. It is early as we have not even approached Thanksgiving yet but I must admit it is a nice addition to our home. Ellis is doing great with his alphabet and numbers. We are now working on a little bit of spelling. So far he knows how to spell "go and dog". He seems to always be looking for a challenge.

Hawaii

Well, Pete and I are in Hi with Luke and Elissa. We are on day 5 and so far so good. Although, last night we were hit with a major storm. The lightning was so bright and the thunder was so loud that it shook the house at times. We have been up every morning watching the sun rise over the water drinking our coffee. Our little beach house is great. We are on the windy side of the island, but it does not seem to bother anyone. We just pack up and explore the other parts of the island. Elissa and I have spent our time reading and talking, while Luke and Pete are snorkeling.

We have had a few challenges along the way. One, finding the nearest Starbucks. Two, I lost my credit card and license. Elissa and I finally found it in the garabage can. Yikes!! That could have been a really bad situation. The other is missing Ellis. We spoke to him the other day and brought tears to both Pete and I. He didn't say much except that he wanted us to come home and that he missed us. It was really hard to hear his sweet little voice. I know that he is having a great time with Gramps and Nanna. He went trick or treating, which I understand he LOVED!! Nanna dressed him up as a train conductor. I know that he is in good hands but it is a long time to be away from him.

4 Years and Counting!!

It's true that Ellis is 4 years old. What happened?? Where did the time go? I have been spending a lot of time looking at pictures of him when he was a baby. I get teary every time I look at them. I suspect that one day, this emotion will go away. So I hold onto it as long as I can. I clearly remember when he was just a little baby, thinking I wonder what it will be like when he is a "boy"! And although, we are far off from him being a big boy, I still think that time is going by way to fast. At 4 years old, Ellis has done more then I did by the time I was 10.

I know that I am of course biased because that is what mothers do.....we think or convince ourselves that OUR child is the best child. Know, don't get me wrong he has his faults....he occasionally awears, (not in the past 3 months), he talks way to much sometimes (got kicked out of storytime at Pre-school), kind of demanding, (in a polite sort of way), when he is tired he can be emotionlly unstable (picks that up from his mom), he is a back seat driver (no...go that way) BUT with all of that being said...here is what makes my heart full of gratitude. He wakes me up every morning with a huge smile, at night he comes to me and gives me a kiss, a hug, and tells me he loves me (this all without being prompted), he tells me I am beautiful (like the KOHL's sign at the mall) he thinks that Dad is a good helper, he tell us he loves his Allie and Emma, and when we are gone for a few days that he misses them, he loves school, his friends (Koby and Miles), and all of his grandparents. These are a few reasons, why I think that he is the best kid! So he is entering his 4th year of life and I have not messed him up yet. In his own words " mommy and daddy...you are good helpers"!!